Church Bullies

If there anyone I have trouble loving, it is a church bully. I'm not just talking about your regular run-of-the-mill outspoken critics. Actually, I'm not too bothered by them because I regard them as someone we need - to keep us honest. Someone who asks questions, and expects an answer, is not a church bully. A church bully is not just someone who doesn't like me. Heck, I don't even like me sometimes. A church bully is not someone who simply disagrees with me. No, a church bully is a breed apart. I expect that every reader of this blog has run across a church bully. You will recognize them by the following characteristics: *Church Bullies seek to have their way by attacking your character. They do not discuss ideas, they assign ungodly motives to you. Years ago someone outlined a list of what they thought were the items in my personal agenda. They presented it to the elders, asking for me to be fired. Many of the items on the supposed agenda were things to which I remain opposed! When asked to meet with the elders, he refused. See, Church Bullies are not concerned with real issues. They seek to remove the people that stand in their way. The easiest route from point A to point C is straight through your character. *Church Bullies, in their self-righteousness, believe that they are right and therefore have the prerogative to treat with disdain those who disagree with them. A brother once wagged his finger in my face and told me I was going to hell as a false teacher. He was so angry and redfaced and speaking in such a harsh manner that all I could do was shake my head as if I understood what he was saying. Then he made fun of me for doing that! Unfortunately, five feet away were some visitors to our church who were in the right place to witness this attack. Of course this was their one and only time to visit. *Church Bullies network with other bullies to assure wide-reaching effectiveness. Fellowship among churches is stymied when church bullies communicate with one another and forbid churches or youth groups from attending each other's events. Announcements of area events are held up in the church office for approval. When the bullies band together, their courage is only reinforced, and great numbers of brothers and sisters can be unduly influenced to regard each other as apostate. *Church Bullies never have regrets - no matter what happens. I shouldn't say "never", but perhaps "almost never". Because one believes he is "right", then whatever happens happens. Let their heads roll! How many church divisions have come about because a bully HAD to have his way? In his view, nothing else would be acceptable. *Church Bullies can work quietly behind the scenes. Not all church bullies are loud-mouthed attackers! Some of them have secret meetings in homes where the goal is to divide and conquer. Some will empower and encourage those who are more likely to be the 'front men', thus maintaining their own 'dignity'. *Church Bullies are unconcerned about those they hurt. I know ministers who live in fear that one particular elder might find out what they believe, and thus lose their job. I also know ministers who fear church bullies in other congregations. A youth minister told me recently "you know how it is" as to why he could not associate with me at an event. Yes, I do know how it is. It is sad. And what about the weak people of the congregation that are led away from freedom in Christ? And what about the person who is discouraged and quits? The church bully is willing for someone else to pay that high price. *Church Bullies are often promoted into positions of leadership because they are perceived as being assertive and "faithful". I hope and pray we are looking at hearts when we ordain leaders in congregations, but I'm afraid we are looking at the richest and boldest brothers for those areas of leadership. Sometimes it works out well, and at other times churches set themselves up for decades of spiritual bondage. Have you ever run across a church bully? Got a story to tell about a church bully (sans names and identifying details please!)? God calls us to love the Church Bully, but I believe we can only love them by telling them the truth. These are not people that can be encouraged sweetly into becoming disciples of Christ. Gentleness is regarded as weakness. (One bully once sneered at me for preaching "grace, grace, grace". I pray he receives all the grace he needs.) Sometimes a high price is paid for being bold with a church bully. Who is up to it? Not many. I have often seen the church bullies win ... and entire congregations held hostage to one or two men (sometimes women) who were so in love with themselves that they expected everyone else to feel the same way. And you thought "Change Agents" were bad!