Questions For God about The Bible

Dear God, First, I want to thank you that I can speak freely in your presence without fear of being fried by a streak of lightning. Umm... that is true, isn't it? Ok. You know me, so I don't have to offer any caveats or backgrounds to these questions. They are just questions about the Bible. There are probably more crucial questions, and smarter questions from smarter people. They are not meant to ... see... there I go trying to be defensive. sigh. *If instrumental music in worship is going to send someone to the fiery pit, and you know how weak-willed and sheep-like we are, why didn't you just tell us in very specific language? *How is it that the Bible is written in such a way that every person who reads it is convinced that they are correct in their understanding? *Did Paul know for sure if divorced people could get married again, or was he as confused as we are? *If you wanted us to share communion on every first day of every week and only on the first day of the week, and only once on the first day of the week ... and only the Sunday-morning-no-shows on Sunday night ... couldn't you have explained the rules in such a way that dense people like me could get it? *Ever since the day that you gave the shake-and-bake treatment to Annanias and Sapphira, I've been wondering why you don't do that all the time. (Don't get me wrong, I'm GLAD you don't, or I wouldn't be here to ask these inane questions!) *"When that which is perfect shall come" ... was Paul trying to be cryptic on purpose? Did he grin as he thought of generations of Bible students who would battle over the implications of that one phrase? *Could you have maybe made use of some labels or color-coded the Bible for us? I know that sounds lazy ... but maybe just a few: red verses - words of Jesus (what else?); blue verses - cultural instructions that hold no meaning past the first century; green verses - instructions rooted in theology that stand for all time. I know somebody already color-coded the Bible, but I don't trust them. *The book of Revelation: come on! *I wish you had told us the date of the last time anyone truly spoke in tongues as a result of the miraculous gift of the Spirit. *Women ... either they can do stuff in worship or not. *Worship ... exactly when does worship start and end? And are there really a lot of rules about stuff that happens when we get together to worship? Why didn't you tell us what a worship service looked like? And how did you guys chant in unison without power point? *What's the deal about wine? You make it, you command us to abstain from it, you drink it, but maybe it's just grape juice, but there's no refrigeration ... I'm confused. *Were the apostles baptized on the day of Pentecost? *Why did you let the KJV translators use the word 'baptize' anyway? Is immersion important to you, or just to us? A little of that Annanias and Sapphira juice would have done the trick there. *Why do I think I'm going to REALLY do my daily Bible readings because I bought a new Bible? I guess others might have questions, and they might even list them here (hint!), but those are some of mine. I admit, I'm fickle. I might have a new set of questions tomorrow! I do trust you above all of my questions...but they still needle me from time to time. Thanks for listening. John