Who Do I Think You Think I Am?

According to some counseling courses I have taken, a key question that relates to self image is "Who do I think you think I am?" That takes some thought just to understand what is being asked, much less be able to answer it. Sometimes I think my autobiography will be entitled, "How I Tried To Be What I Thought You Wanted Me To Be And Why That Didn't Work". Preachers are such chameleons, and almost have to be to survive. Every member has in their mind what the preacher ought to be. And those images are as varied as flavors of potato chips on the snack aisle. At times in my life I have worked very hard to be what I thought someone wanted me to be. But today, I think people would rather the preacher be authentic. More iguana than chameleon. Both reptiles, the chameleon blends in and disappears against the backdrop. The ugly ole iguana just is what he is, and there's no effort to meet a higher expectation. That's not to say that preachers should try to be disagreeable to prove that they are being genuine. We should do what we can to maintain peace, as much as it depends on us (just as all Christians should). But maintaining peace and playing a part are two different things. Blogging is public self-disclosure - if done well! An elder in one of our Coast churches told me this week that he has been lurking on my blog for some time now. My mind immediately raced to think if I had disclosed anything embarassing or said "crap" in a while. I think I am safe. (Hi Fred!). Seriously, I took that as a compliment. But it does show that we care about what other people think. Especially people who say, "I don't care what other people think." If "who do I think you think I am" determines my self esteem, then what happens if I think you think I'm a creep? I am too sleepy to deal with all of this! On the Weekenders blog there is a good discussion along this line (people are actually blogging there although it is clearly not the weekend. It is quite the scandal). For the record, anyone who reads my blog is very cool and hip and trendy and should be proud. Those of you who aren't reading my blog ... well ... you should try to blend in better.