What about when you die?

I'd like to know from all you out there what you want your funeral to look like. That's something we seldom discuss and it seems that the deceased has little to say about it, and you probably won't get your way. I just wanted to know. John, have no fear--we'll make sure every part of your funeral is taken care of with the utmost respect and decency... (since with no doubt you'll keel over way before we will, being a preacher and all) By the way, i know this guy who would do a great job speaking. we've allready hired him, his name is Charles McK.... or something other and he is the pastor at the Jesus Christ Bap.... Church and he's got this whole sermon about the blood of Christ... Changing subjects...when i die, in my will i'll have instructions and money set aside for a big party and beverages that tickle your nose...i just want a bunch of people to get together and be happy, have a good time and celebrate my life, not be all crappy and cry...no black at my funeral...i want to be cremated and to have a memorial service at someone's home where the party will be. i don't want to be viewed at some funeral home in a casket where everyone can walk by and comment to my surviving wife how "great" i look. i'm dead! it can't be that great. Plus i wouldn't want anyone touching my dead body with their hands or crying on me and smearing my makeup. Just burn me, put me in an old coffee can or ashtray, and set it next to a picture of me with a sly smile face to sit on the mantle so it won't get knocked in the grits when my rowdy cousins and youth minister friends come over for the party. Then as a group, go dump me in the Alabama municipal water supply in the county of your choice. (oh yeah, and i want my wife to remarry...ok i'm just saying that so i can if she dies) How about you?