The Grinding Scent of Reality

*Warning* This is not for the faint of heart nor weak of stomach. la la la... sure you want to read this? okie dokie...here goes! ************************** First it started as a dull ache that wasn't too bad, but as the evening progressed so did the pain. I thought to myself that perhaps I needed to floss. So I flossed ... with vigor. And brushed my teeth with more vitality than usual. An hour or two later, the dull ache had become a sharper pain. I flossed more ... and with even more vigor. Washed my mouth out with warm salt water. Brushed again. My gums started to swell I kept telling myself that perhaps there was something lodged in there ... a popcorn husk or a piece of meat that was irritating my gums and causing the pain. As I attempted to sleep last night the pain became a deep throbbing ache. I flossed and brushed two or three times during the night ... advil...tylenol...aspirin. This morning I called my dentist and they pulled up my records. "We're showing that you had problems with that tooth in 2003. We recommended you see the endodotist in Mobile. Did you do that?" Hmm... I could lie ... but they'd know. "No." Then the cheeriest voice said, "Well...that's what it is!" The dentist wouldn't see me, but they did get me an appointment in Mobile. Off I go ... I know how this goes. They'll make me fill out a hundred papers, take x-rays, scrape around on my teeth, then make a second appointment so they could drain my wallet for even more than this specialist was going to do anyway. Bah! I finally got in the chair, but I wasn't complaining. This is one place that I don't mind them taking their time before they get to me. They did take the x-ray. The endodontist came in, took a look at the image. He looked at my swollen gums and the swollen roof of my mouth and said, "oh boy!". He then explained that I could have it pulled (he doesn't do that) or get the root canal. He also informed that there is a big cyst on my tooth that may have to be surgically removed at some point. With my permission, he went to work. Nearly upside down, mouth wide open, and the needle full of novacaine piercing my cheek, I began to remember with fondness ... of all things ... my regular dentist. He is very sensitive. He gives me the 'gas' so that I can relax. He provides a CD player with headphones so I can listen to something calm and distracting while he does his work. The needle poked me again, but I will have to say that this doctor is good. It didn't hurt much. Still, after the amenities of my regular dentist I felt like I was in a M*A*S*H unit. One thing I was grateful for is this tent they use now that covers your mouth and as particles fly from the grinding drill, they do not land on your tongue. He began to drill, and I began to feel nauseated. The tooth in question has a porcelain cap. As the drill made its way through the cap, there was a sickening burning smell that was unavoidable to me ... I couldn't exactly turn away. I thought to myself that all of that flossing I did the other night was useless...this is the grinding scent of reality. He also cut a slit in the roof of my mouth and inserted a rolled up piece of gauze to serve as a wick ... to allow drainage. Draining where??? It does not taste good. And it has to be in there for two days. After that, I get to pull it out. Now why am I telling you all of this in such detail? First, because I suffered, and I do not want to suffer alone. Second, because the novacaine is finally wearing off and I haven't had anything to eat today and I'm grouchy. Third, because it was a vivid reminder to me of how we avoid and push away reality in favor of our own twist of imaginary living. We do this when we believe that we are basically good, and have no impure motives. We do this when we talk to others about their sin without admitting that we are also sinners. We do this when we flash our credit cards and are unsure of how we are going to pay the bill. We do this when we eat a box of cookies and then act amazed that we gained weight at the scale. We do this when we have been offended and hurt, but we act like everything is just fine. We do it when we keep running on empty, letting our spiritual life wither, and then believe that we are on good terms with the Father. Sooner or later though, life turns us upside down and the grinding scent of reality hits us. There is no getting away from it. But welcome it, friends. For from the reality comes healing, and where there is healing there is hope.