The Safety of Busyness

I have noticed this week that I have retreated from my retreat, into the safety of busyness. Someone clever turned a phrase and made a good point: Don't Just Do Something, Stand There. Good one. I'm much better at doing something, and that is what I have done this week. Why does busyness feel so safe? Why did a time of solitude and quietness feel so threatening? Contemplating myself, my life, my ministry, my roles as husband and father and friend - they all have potential to cause me some pain. It's a good kind of hurt if it moves me to seek to be led in areas I often avoid. It's much easier and more fulfilling (in a self-centered way) to just stay busy, get the job done, pay attention to the details ... if there's time you can pray or read. I like the title to Bill Hybel's little book, Too Busy Not To Pray. I've owned that book for a long time, but have managed to be too busy to read it. It's a risky thing on the heart (and in the life) to try to be aware of where we are, where we're going, what lies we have believed that have led us down wrong paths. It's so much easier to just stay busy and never look into the dark corners. But that's where the healing of Jesus is needed in our lives. We may perceive busyness as safety ... but actually, it is the most dangerous path of all. It is blinded to its own ignorance, and proud in its progress. I need to stop living as if I were about to be given a pop quiz on my life, and instead just walk with my Shepherd.